Bride Hard: A Dire Film That's Short on Laughs and Thrills

When a movie is so subpar that before showing its title, you suspect it won’t be enjoyable, you grasp at any small semblance of entertainment, however scant. This was my experience with Bride Hard.

Oscar-winning actress Da'Vine Joy Randolph deserved a much more significant role than that in Bride Hard, although she played her minor supporting one honourably. Justin Hartley also executed his role as an egotistical nincompoop who misguidedly considers himself tough with some level of humor.

One of the few humorous points was the lead character, Sam (Rebel Wilson), describing her bridesmaid's attire as if Ariana Grande had become a member of the Real Housewives, a statement both amusing and apt. Her use of curling irons as makeshift nunchucks was quite imaginative.

In another remedy for the dullness, a henchman humorously mentions his day job as a wedding singer. This tiny detail was unexpected enough to be amusing. However, these slight pieces of amusement didn't alleviate the tedious action comedy directed by Simon West. It was neither funny nor thrilling and lacked a substantial plot.

The storyline, which tries to combine Bridesmaids and Die Hard, involves a secret agent named Sam who struggles with work-life balance. Throughout the movie, Sam struggles to maintain her friendship with her childhood friend Betsy (Anna Camp), but the relationship is strained due to Sam's sudden job-related disappearances.

Despite the resulting win when Sam puts her skills to use at Betsy's wedding, fighting off mercenaries who crash the event, the execution of the plot is disappointing. The story hurriedly jumps into a confusing chase scene in Paris rather than establishing the characters and their relationships. The supposed action falls flat due to its chaotic nature.

The comedy attempts also fell short. A line, "Piece of cake," by Sam after a fight, which had no related context with the visuals, fell flat. The characters were one-dimensional, and the underlying personalities stood on shaky ground. Even the chemistry between Wilson and Camp felt strained and awkward.

The disregard for character depth and development in Bride Hard resulted in characters that might as well be cardboard cutouts, given their lack of depth and personality. Bride Hard's most compounding flaw was its casual indifference towards its characters, giving the viewer no real reason to care for or about them.

In retrospect, the best action to take regarding this film might be to avoid it altogether and pretend it never happened.